I'm the one who is getting bigger
I feel like there is no air
although I can't feel it I know is there
you were my friend
my ordinary and simplistic friend
you were never there for me
and I always cared
Now I say goodbye to you
and get ready for a whole new day
until the pain goes away...
These are the lyrics I wrote for a song when I was about 19yrs old. Funny how back then it was targeted at a different person, and today I still feel like those words are carved in my heart, but now is focused at someone else.
It's been years since I stopped having feeling towards the person I originally wrote this for. I no longer think about them or really care for them. Today is someone else that is making me feel like life is crap, and we live all our lives to be crapped on.
I wish I wouldn't feel this way, but my heart can't help it. I know that it takes time to move on and forget about that someone. But I know deep in my heart I will always care for this current person that my heart belongs to. I know that he will always have a piece of me, even though he will never ever carry it with him.
How do I always get to this point? why is it me that falls so hard for the one person that will not ever fall for me? worse, I always fall for the people that care for me so much but will never love me. That is worse. Because they will always show you affection, compassion, and will offer their shoulder if you need it. But they will never have the patience to be with you for the rest of their lives, or will never give you all the love that you need from them, because they will never feel love towards you. They will just feel affection.
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