Tired

I'm so tired of everything.
Everything going on in my life.
Nothing excites me. Nothing motivates me.
I'm so tired of the same routine.
I'm tired of waking up at 7:30am five days a week
I'm tired of having to walk Alana Mon - Fri for 10 minutes before I'm running late for work.
I'm tired of having to come back to the apartment every lunch to always find a mess because of Alana.
I'm so tired of working.
I'm so tired of dealing with co-workers
I'm so tired of dealing with customers
I'm so tired of not getting paid enough
I'm so tired of not being recognized at work.
I'm so tired of having to deal with the same crap every single day of the week
Every single month,
Every year.
IT IS ALL THE SAME.

I'm tired of complaining.
I'm tired of silencing my emotions.
I'm tired of thinking too much.
I'm tired of not thinking too much.
I'm tired of my depressions.
Above all, I'm tired of the uncertainty of my life.

I'm tired of not knowing what I want from life.
I'm tired of not knowing what I want to accomplish.
I'm tired of doubting myself.
I'm tired of always deciding to go with the flow.
I'm tired of rejecting the unknown.
I'm tired of being a prisoner of my own life.
I'm just so fucking tired of everything.
I'm tired of every little thing.
I'm tired of things.
I'm tired.
I'm exhausted.
I'm mortally tired.

Inexplicable insomnia

Eye lids heavy
Heavy but not closing.
Tired body and tired mind
It's still not enough to say good night

Still, am awake
Contemplating that face.
A face that I adored
I now feel shamed of that love.
The news are shocking
Disturbing and disgusting.

Silly me
paying attention to this thing.
Enough. I will now go to sleep.

Batman Against Colorado

It saddens me how much hatred a man can carry with himself to commit such horrible atrocity during a moment that is meant to be lived peacefully with loved ones.
For how much longer are we going to keep reading headlines full of massacred, killings and shootings?
what does it take to bring all individuals to peace and happiness? 
What does it take to teach an entire culture about loving thy neighbor, and stop feeding them with fear and hatred, that wounds up being the cause of the desperation-stage the murderer experience before committing human terrorism. 
Unfortunately it will always be the innocents that will suffer from these evil acts.

So sad. 
Raged with disappointment. 
Unsure whom is to blame. 
Disconcerted at the situation.
Confused how to act.

To be distracted by vile acts of violence in society can only bring one good: Meditate and reflect in how our actions can affect others.

Dolor Hasta La Muerte

Cuando el corazon duele no hay nada que ayude con el dolor. Solo el tiempo podra cubrir con polvo y basura las heridas notables hacia el ojo externo, pero ni el tiempo ni el polvo ni la basura jamas curaran la brecha que la vida ha rasgado con su puñal de eventos, desgraciando tu presente y futuro. Nada jamas curara tus incertidumbre y tus penas. Nada jamas lo hara. Iras a la tumba con cada una de tus yagas y se pudriran junto a ti bajo la tierra que intentara cubrirlas por el resto de lo dias sin suerte alguna

Effort Goes Effortless

I'm not mad. I'm not pissed. I'm just sad. I'm sad at life right now. I'm sad because all the effort and energy that I take to make things work, just seem to slip out of my hands and everything always goes wrong.  I really try everyday to please you and be that person that you are proud to be with. But it seems that the harder that I try the easier that you walk away.  Maybe we're not meant to be. Maybe life is saving us from a bad future together. It still hurts though. It still hurts.  I will keep a special place in my heart just for you.

Smell the Shirt and Flick the Cigarette

I often find my self thinking for hours night and day
wishing time would accelerate
just to be with her.

I ask myself, is it love or is it lust?
Who is there really to know?
Time would slowly show what really
the future holds.

I'm going to be honest and admit
I feel like a kid in a candy store
looking around with my eyes full of joy
waiting for approval before I devour all the sweets
that I know is being hold just for me.